Archive for July, 2008

Yeah, but was it really?

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

This is a long one, you got the coffee and biscuits ready?

One of the things that I have noticed in my almost a year here (next monday is D day!) is that generally (not every case, mind you) people back home think differently about ippon, and what it is when compared to most of the people I practise with here.

Now, everybody knows the basics, right? Ki Ken Tai Icchi and all that. But from what I remember of kendo in Britain and Europe, from my practise with visiting friends, from my shiai in Helsinki, it seems that even amongst those who should know better, there is still alot of, well, not confusion, maybe lack of direction is the best phrase.

Over the past year, I’ve tried to make myself generally stricter with myself about what I give myself as far as ippon is concerned (don’t pretend you don’t congratulate yourself when you get a goody!), and one of the things this includes is the moment of impact, and the cut through. Now, it’s not perfect by a long way, but generally I think that the impact is more convincing for me, and I can see it when compared to some other people I regularly practise with. But when I compare it to back home, or visiting mates, the difference is unfortunately wide, and I can see a lot of what I used to do in there too. I think one of the biggest things is being happy with simply hitting the target, with simply “getting there”, a kind of “if it’s in, it’s ippon” mentality, which can often manifest itself in light strikes (this is one bad sympton of British kendo, unfortunately) or bad hasuji from side ways attacks, or a kind of tap, where the shinai is actually PULLED away from the datotsubui in the act of some artificial movement-only zanshin. Looking around, and watching shiai and DVD’s, the points that are scored are usually (again, not always) the ones where there is still some semblence of a “cut”, in some form, through the target, and the speed of the retraction of the shinai afterwards is a result of the force and speed with which it was applied, and not a pulling back to wave your arms above your head.

And talking about it, speed is another difference. I’ve finally (really, finally. Like within the last 3 months at best!) come to realise that speed is more a compliment to a decent set up, as opposed to an important be all part of your attack. OF COURSE the faster you are the bigger the advantage, but the set up and having the hole to exploit is way more important. This is, of course, why all these old guys can still do something with the younger faster ones, because they create the hole to use at their own speed, as opposed to crashing through something whilst trying to move at the speed of sound. When looking back on even my own kendo (and then, even until fairly recently, like I said) and also other peoples from back home, too much emphasis is placed on beating the other guy to the punch, as opposed to being the ONLY guy at the punch, and this then leads to a dead end in a persons kendo, as they can’t just continue to get faster and faster and faster in some effective manner. In addition, it also accompanies a manifest problem in blocking, as where as the person creating the opening has to have the confidence to put themselves at risk at some point and in some way to make their chance, the speedster simply runs away, produces a hugely bendy block, and generally won’t interact with their opponent, preferring to wait until they can use their speed.

Which leads on to another, and maybe the biggest, difference, which is pro-activity in the set up. I’ve seen plenty of examples, even with a gent I practised with recently, where the set up involved waiting for the guy to come, and slapping out something reactionary, making use of their speed of course, and then basically hoping that it goes in and then waiting again to try to same thing, as opposed to setting up some sort of stunning opportunity that leaves the guy thinking “what just happened there?!” This for more is one of the most important aspects of my “All New Understanding of Ippon”.  Maybe the best way for me to explain it is thusly: yuukou datotsu, in english, means valid strike or thrust. An unquestionable requirement of ippon. But yuukou can also mean effective, and in this way I’ve started to prefer to think of it as A strike or Thrust with an effect. The effect in this case being on the opponent. If you go as quick as you can hell for leather and speed a kote out on to a dude, he may well be impressed, he might think it was fast. If you lure him in, make him think that it’s there and that he’s already won, when in fact he’s right in your trap, and at the last moment as he goes and is commited, you reveal your cunning plan and take EVERYTHING back from him, and his debana kote to boot, he is going to think “Jeeeeeezuuuuuus! What the hell just happened?!”

This to me is an achingly big difference. I can recall a couple of times when this happened to me  back home, but it happens with a far far greater frequency here (usuall kaeshi bloody dou…..but thats a different story!) but it really highlights the difference in set up. One goes for speed, and hits it some times, one goes for the set up, and hits it more, and more convincingly. Going back to the gripe about cut strength and bounciness, I think it’s also usually quite easier to argue that the convincing ippon in this case is also the convincing one when cut strength is concerned too. Likewise, the fast one, might sometimes, have the cut behind it, but equally as often, because the speed is the focus and not the cut itself, it’s not all there, compounding one low point with another.

And finally (really finally!!), is zanshin. And this is probably, maybe while not the biggest difference, is certainly one of the more obvious ones, though I guess more at an individual level. But when the difference is there, it is huge. Zanshin translates literally as “remaining” and “spirit” or “mind”, therefore it’s not just a movement, but an alertness and preparedness. A good example is the guy who does men and as he turns around is aware enough of his opponent to block or counter oikomi waza. But when I see the bad stuff, it’s like a predefined movement that has to be done simply in order for the attack to score, and these are usually the ones that lose aforementioned oikomi waza.

This is not meant to all imply that everybody here does it all perfect, and kendo at home is generally lacking in it’s ippon, far from it. I’ve seen much on both sides that is counter to what I’ve written, but the frequency is higher back home. And there is a difference, and at times a hugely recognisable one in these areas that has made me think a massive amount about my own attitudes to what I think about regarding what would and wouldn’t be a decent strike, not just ippon in shiai. After all, shouldn’t they be the same? And shouldn’t I demand of myself something that I would be pleased with, and not just ippon.

Days of Thunder

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

I wish that were a clever pun about driving around the roughly oval shaped course at the driving school, but it’s far more. Tom Cruise would have shat his alien worshipping scientological pants in this.

So, I’m very close to end of my first stage in the driving course I’m taking. The first stage involves learning the basics of control and safe driving before testing for your learner driver’s permit, which will let you drive your chariot outside. On sunday I have the test, but last night I had my “round up” lesson just to check that I wasn’t a psychotic madman out to damage the population (ie; I hid it well!) and qualify me to drive outside.

Outside, when I mounted up, there was the odd flash in the sky, but there was no rain, the weather man hadn’t predicted any, you couldn’t hear the thunder and the bad weather seemed generally a long way away. Good, I thought, because it was 8.40pm, and dark, didn’t want any rain fucking up the Rally of Japan. Oh yes, the skies had other plans….

About 25 minutes in, a few spots of rain, then a few minutes later it starts to rain. Again, no major problem, I’m vaguely intelligent enough to know that you slow down a little in the rain and take extra care. So the wipers go on, driving continues as normal. Then the skies become enraged. I mean, shit, it was like all the worlds water was being channelled directly into the Koyama Driving school. I have literally only seen rain worse in a typhoon. This would normally be a great time for some “artistic license” to be thrown in with a heavy dose of over exageration, but this shit was heavy heavy rain.

Dam, I think to myself, he’s gonna tell me to pull over soon, and there is still 15 minutes left. Nope.

“Right, Mr Gibson, let’s do a hill start”.

EX-fucking-CUSE ME?! A hill start? Does he think I’m Colin McRae or something? The heavens have not only opened but moved out all over the school, the rain is fierce, there are GALES throwing the stuff all over the place, I can’t even SEE the bloody centre line, and he wants a fucking HILL START?! And he wasn’t even shitting me either! I thought it might be some stupid intructors joke, but no! Up the bridge, park in the howling gales and the sea of rain, and then off we go again! “Right turn please.” RIGHT BLOODY TURN INDEED!

And it got worse! Both the weather and the intructors suicidal streak. Round the corner after the pedestrian crossing, still can’t see the centre line. Wind screen wipers are chugging away, about as effective trying to have sex with a soft on, and he comes out with a jewel, a real gold plated classic:

“OK, let’s try a little faster now shall we? Accelerate up to 40 please!”

For the love of god! The guy was trying to get us both dead! The thunder is still ripping away, the rain is STILL absolutely hammering down, the wind is throwing the surface water all over the place, and he thinks now was a good time for a little acceleration. Ah, fuck it, thinks I and just cained it.

Somehow, really somehow, I didn’t die. In addition, I kept pretty much totally composed through out (thank you kendo!) but bloody hell, do I really need the test now?! I’ve just driven through Dante’s hell for 25 minutes, IN THE BLOODY DARK, and not crashed through any walls.

License please.

But no. I’ve got the test on Sunday. I’ve also got more shiai on saturday, so I guess I should be at least slightly careful. Last saturday I went to Chiba, got ratted, and then went driving on a storming hangover. The driving itself was fine, but the practise written test was failed no less than 3 times before that…..

License Please!

Jump!

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

Alan came to visit last week, here are two pictures of him obssessing over the ski-jump mini game on Wii Fit:

Sorry Big Man, but you’re shit.

After MORE THAN AN HOUR playing that thing, the best he could manage was a paltry 7th. Not in my own house, fella, not in my own house!

Vestigial Penis

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

No really:

Look! It’s got a wee little cock!

Here we go again

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

Waking up sweating at 4am? Check.

Noisy insects in trees? Check.

Frogs on paths? Check.

Plunging necklines on clothing? Check. Check. CHECK!

Must mean summer is here. Click on the links to July and August last year to see what I think of summer (this has NOT changed) in Japan. But fuck me, this place really is hot. I have had the worst week’s sleep since this time last year, and it’s not getting any better. We bought a cold air blower, that pumps hot fucking air out of the back. Fucking useless piece of shit. It’s going to be time to splash out on something heavy duty, like another air conditioning unit. Bugger, they’re expensive things too, and then you need to pay to get the thing properly installed too. But given the choice between that and another night of under 6 hours sleep, there is no choice.

Keiko on monday was a nightmare too. With my body in that “hot and lazy” mode, and sweat little dripping from me when I stay still, and worst of all the windows closed after that crazy pisshead came in and ranted about the noise last year…it ain’t helping! On the plus side, I bought a stupidly cheap men (roughly 60 quid!) a few weeks ago, which means I can leave my thinnest lightest one at the dojo. This is good because although it’s not as nice as the handmade one, it’s also not at all like doing kendo with a duvet wrapped around my face under the furnace of a power station, which I suppose I can be thankful for.

Dam, I fucking hate the summer.

Carmageddon

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

The smell of exhaust fumes, the fear in the eyes of the passenger, the rolling car ending in the ditch. That’s right, I’m learning to drive…

Learning to drive in Japan is hugely different from the UK. The first is the truly obscene amount of cash I was required to splash out. 2 grand. I shit you not. 390,000yen. Fuck. That’s enough for a bloody car in itself! Shite. So, what do I get for spooging such a stupid chunk of cash? The best thing is it’s all in English. I’ve a feeling that when learning to drive:

Instructor : OK, stop now.

Me : What?

Instructor : Blake now

Me : Come again?

Instructor : BLAKE NOW! NOOOOW! STOOOOOP!

Me : I DON’T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

Car : [various squashing a crunching noises, culminating in the car mounting a concrete wall after ploughing through a group of stationary motorcyclists and jumping the hedge]

Instructor : Doesn’t matter anymore.

Me : What?

My japanese is a little better than the above would suggest, but being able to enquire in English is a god send. It also transpires that the instructors that can speak english are all young, so I don’t get some snobby arrogant old git. A japanese guy I work with is registered at the same school, and was most displeased to learn that for his first lesson he had somebody who actually told him to shut up while he was driving, whilst I had a young lady with a fine set of cans. He was jealous.

Apart from the english-ness of my course, the Japanese system also includes a number of lectures, roughly equivalent to the number of actual driving lessons you take too, with the main aim of course to impart enough sensible road knowledge to pass the written test. That having been said, I did internally question the necessity of this when one of the questions in my first lecture was:

Do you think it’s ok to have a few beers before you drive?

Now, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but come on. I’m hardly likely to come up with something that would suggest that a 4 pint pitcher of Stella, 3 flaming sambucca’s and enough tequila to make me vomit and shit at the same time is a quality mix for safe driving.

Still, if it helps me pass it’s all good, I guess…

My first driving lesson (and the next few weeks as I understand it) was all in the school compound, in the special learners course. All good. It means I can crash with impunity. Kind off. It was still alot of fun though. At one point both instructors (I had two lessons one after the other) both said “now let’s try that a little bit slower, shall we, Mr Gibson?” Oh alright then. I could have taken it though. I took a quiet joy in seeing other people stalling and lurching around to track while I drove Miss Daisy too. And the temptation to floor the fucker out of turns is MASSIVE…….

More soon!

Goat

Monday, July 14th, 2008

Enough said.

Squashed Bananas

Monday, July 14th, 2008

Until, that is, I bought this genius little device. Presenting:

THE BANANA CASE!

A very simple contraption, you insert your banana thusly:

And then close it thusly:

encasing said piece of fruity goodness in a titanium like protective jacket of yellow proportions. This thing is the work of a creative god! No more smashed up fruit for me!

Mukaezuki

Monday, July 14th, 2008

Recently in Tokyo there has been something of a furore regarding mukaezuki, which culminated in letters from the City Kendo Association going to all dojos in Tokyo. Basically, a high ranking teacher in a particular ward had seriously injured someone with mukaezuki, to the point that the person actually needed time off work to recover. The offender, who was the president of the ward kendo association, was then asked to leave his post, and he did so in a somewhat vocal fashion, additionally, I believe, leaving the club. The Tokyo Kendo Renmei then sent a letter to all dojo asking them to consider the danger of mukaezuki.

This, and my own recents experiences, having had a hefty one planted on me a few weeks ago, and watching the nob jockey two weeks ago actually waiting for mukaezuki, has got me thinking:

Does mukaezuki really have any place in kendo? And if so, what?

I think there are probably arguments for and against. For instance as a tool to teach centre it could be argued that it has it’s uses, but then I have always been more of a proponent of just keeping centre or lowering it slightly and holding it on my opponent’s dou mune when I want them to know that there was nothing there. Which kind of then leaves the “for” arguement for using it fairly limp in my mind. If you can safely do something – in this case munazuki – as an equivalent that will have just the same effect, why would you risk serious injury to your opponent by doing it to the throat?

Then there is the argument that nothing of the sort is vaguely needed at all, and if the attacker was coming in without a proper opportunity then rather than do nothing or just stick your hands out, which can be seen as a lack of preperation on your own part, surely returning the attack in some form of yuko datotsu would be preferable? Especially if you could see it was coming and had the wit about you and the spare time to ram your kensen in to their throat.

I’m not entirely sure where I stand on what is better, munazuki or a proper technique of some sort, but I’m surely of the opinion that mukaezuki is probably one of the most unrequired pieces of kendo that is still done. I know of one hachidan (who was recently made Hanshi) who said he doesn’t do mukaezuki at all, and he really doesn’t, on the reasoning that he hated recieving mukaezuki, so why would he do to someone else something that he hated himself. This, if anything, is good enough for me. That and the fact that he really does return anything that he is in even half a position to. Hanshi material indeed!

There will of course always be people who say that the threat of having a kensen jammed in to your unprotected throat is a good lesson in keeping centre, and will teach you to respect a shinai held by someone else a little more, and create better openings. I’m sure that this is the case, and that in the past this kind of viewpoint may have been the accepted norm. I think, however, to my young and unadulterated (naive?) mind however that this might be a more old fashioned way of approaching a subject that demonstrably has safer ways of being taught. If you can teach someone safely, and have them come back, why injure someone and put them off? Again, in days gone by it might have been okay to weed out the weak in this way, but in a time when we are all worried about inclusion and associated problems (especially in Japan where people who feel socially excluded in some way see, to have a habit of killing themselves or other people – Akihabara anyone?) surely allowing people to practise in some way safely, and not making them feel weak and inadequate and therefore not “appropriate” to their chosen past time, is a slightly better approach? Just maybe….

A tiny piece of Engrish

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

But sadly no pictures. I would have needed to be a ninja of legendary skill for that.

On my way to the taikai at Nakano:

An old man wearing a rain coat of plain blue design, but for the legend BITCH in big white letters on his back.

Going home from keiko:

A guy walking through shinjuku station with the exclamation FLIPPIN IDIOT. Note the lack of “G” at the end of Flippin(g).

Almost home after work:

A properly fat woman outside my local train station, wearing a black t-shirt with sparkling letters spelling out OPTIMIST across it. This one in particular made me chuckle. I’ll bet you are, love…