UCL Lost Boys

-Japan is a hot country, really hot, really fucking hot. If any of you dear readers are thinking “oh but we have already read what Gibbo said about the heat, are you not treading on trodden ground Mr Treen?” then you clearly have no real appreciation of just how hot and uncomftorble this place is right now. As soon as I leave the house I am instantly coated in nice healthy layer or perspiration that will not go away. One day two weeks ago, when it was particuarly hot, by the time I had walked to the supermarket and back with my heavy shopping, I was sweating so much. If I had just jumped into the sea I would probably have been only a little more wet.

-Japan is not expensive, Britain is.

I have still done no kendo, but my fucked up body is healing nicely and I should be ready to go any day now. I am teaching English and proofreading scientific papers for work.

Last night I needed to use an international phone box at 1AM so I decided to make myself look as rough as possible with my scruffiest clothes, and a massive pair of headphones playing Led Zeppelin at full volume, all the while sipping a one litre carton of woolong tea. I walked through the town centre. It felt good, I am going to do it more often.

At a party I met a girl who is a model. She was totally hot but alas she wouldn’t let me sleep with her, some people are so rude! I will have to find out what her surname is so we can all put it into Google.

After 23 years in Britain I have finally been allowed to return to my beautiful, unspoilt homeland. A quiet, peaceful land of four seasons. I did find it quite odd that they are making me apply for an alien registration card, do they not know that we Takeda’s are an ancient and proud Japanese family? So I have been here for three weeks and have done even less kendo than Najaf, those who were there to witness my “fall” can attest to the fact that my body would be in no state to do anything for a very long time. I did do some searching however, and there is a club 10 minutes away that practices on Saturday and Sunday mornings and looks a bit like Wakaba. I also went to Akihabara of a Sunday… It was raining a bit that day, this was fortunate because something was required to wash away the secretions of ten thousand simultaneous cry wanks. There were lots of girls dressed up like maids, who were not that pretty but did look very young, each of these girls would be surrounded by about thirty dudes with cameras, and many of them had massive, expensive cameras with big lenses and flashes, I felt like telling them that half the worlds population are female and if you talk to enough of them you will find one who wants to have sex with you. Now it’s picture time:

This is a melon flavour KitKat

This a guy who claims he is straight (the Baliey’s he is drinking has been watered down with Cream Soda)