UCL Lost Boys

I went to church… That may be shocking enough for most people so I will start a new line.

I went to church with the family I’m living with. Most of Ghana is pretty religious and 3.5 hours of harcore church on a sunday to top a week of churching off is considered the norm. So I pop a shirt on and my only pair of trousers and some very muddy trainers and head off. First… Air conditioning a room the size of a basket ball arena must be pretty hard, but they managed it as it was pretty icey. It all started fairly as expected with 500+ people crammed in listening to a guy at the front preaching. untill another three started, all with a different point to make. To say it sounded like a group beat boxing contest doesn’t really describe it but its the first thing that comes to mind. This went on for a while with a lot of people shouting out stuff. Then it started

A guy with a sax came out and did a quick little jazzy solo before the guy on the 5-string bass started funking about. Soon the full band were out and it was pretty much a party for 2 hours. People dancing in the iles and screaming. I might as well summerise it with bullet point observations-

* A woman screaming at the floor with all her force, just pointing and screaming

* A woman came (mid rave) hurteling from the side of one of the iles, and plowed into 3 dancers like something from braveheart, not sure what her plan was but both of her shoes came flying off and arching through the air as two of the Alterboys(?) tackeled her down and started tying her up with some massive sheet as she was fitting.

* Everyone in Ghana can sing, and sing well, Apart from the woman standing behind me with was a little bothering

* It was all a little too much for me to cope with and despite being in a room of 500+ VERY HAPPY and very nice people a lot of which asked me to dance, I only managed to stand, smile and clap my hands. Reminds me of being at a school disco in year 5.

Oh and today it rained… see the picture.

On a much happier note. The Larium dark days have worn off. Took the little orphans to the beach today. 50 kids and a lot of sun have left me burnt (through a t-shirt and umbrella) and tired.
It is great here, taken a couple of weeks but i’m really loving it. Africa is gooooood. Being here though has made me strangely patriotic, worryingly so. I think because (cliché time) that I have realised how good things are at home, not the things like constant water supplies or stuff but cultural things like tea, minding your own business and being overly polite.

Reading angela’s ashes so all I want to do is have a pint of guinness. It’s my 4th book since I touched down.

Some interesting bits and bobs I have seen about which fit into the Engrish (kinda) category.

It seems like all the taxis and tro-tros (mini buses held together by spot welding, luck and the following faith related slogans) have slogans stuck on the back window in the same Flinstones type font. Some nuggets include|

# STILL a merciful god

# Who knows?

# Have a very god day

# Arrives 110% of the time

School and businesses tend to go for the same marketing tactic as the majority of the content of the internet (the porno)… LIE.

# ALWAYS 100% EVERY DAY ALL DAY – a school

# BEST eye surgen in Africa

# The Best Ghanian School – Highest scores ever!

AAANDD so on.

I want to put more pictures up but it is a right arse getting the pictures off the camera, resizing them and posting them on a internet cafe comp but I will do my best to get some over the next week.

I spent a good 45 mins catching up with gibbos posts but who actually reads this apart from me and gibbo, oh and maybe joe while he is stopping bots posting.

There is quite a lot I would like to post on here about people who have got me worked up but going with the idea that if I post it I should accept that they might read it so I might not. I will have to settle with reading Gibbos Prick/twat/arsehole list.

All in all a good week. Oh and I kind of have my own class now!

Tough day. By that I mean 2 of the orphans have malaria, one the babies i’m looking after cries all the time, can keep any food down and is looking shitter by the hour, I have managed to tick off all the symptoms that you can get from my antimalarial meds (larium/meflequin) and its hot. Oh and none of the teachers at the school attached to the orphanage know what the hell they are doing and so I wait around for ages to teach then 30 mins later someone turns up and wonders why i’m impatient. No one knows what the time is, including the teachers. So thats what my day has been like. OH and spending my lunch brake hand washing all my cloths in a very very small amount of water.

I looked at a calander last night and had wee panic when i realised that it is a very very long time till Dec 22nd. I’m enjoying the challenge though but it is hard.

On that note i’ve run out of time on this crappy computer and i’m off for some drinks! More detailed post to come I’m sure.

I got to Ghana safe and sound, had a slight problem with a jumped up security guard at the airport who tried to take my passport away from me and gave me a good shouting. “Welcome to Ghana, Enjoy your stay in the Gateway to Africa” was written on a banner hanging above his head. I was met at 10.30 by a guide who took me the hour it takes to get to my host family which I am staying with. The house is pretty  nice and the family are quite friendly, its got electrified razor wire around the wall and sky tv on a nice flat screen. Africa is quite scary if all you’re used to is quite village life. Had a panicy first day being shown around the capital city Accra. You get around on these rusty old mini buses called tro-tros which people pack into and it powers off over dust, sand, rocks, the lot. English is the national language but most people speak Dwe (tchwe) and english as a second language. Its all gone quite well, got a bit lost on the way back from an irish bar on tuesday night, finally got a taxi who said he would take me back home for the amount of money i was willing to pay, however half hour into the 1hour + journey he stops in a dark road of quite a poor area and said he didn’t know where he was going. We went in circles for a while with both of us waving our arms a lot and shouting place names. Fun!

The majority of my day is taken up with looking after babies and toddlers in an orphanage 5 minutes walk down the road. All babies seem to do though is sleep, cry, poo and throw up. Really, it was cute but that got tired quite quickly. The toddlers just cry or hit you. There is a lot of poverty in the area and the orphanage is doing its best with the little it has yet clothing is quite limited for the kids and hygiene is very poor.

I still get a chance to do a bit of teaching here though, one of the teachers here has tried to get me to set up a Gifted and Talented acceleration program which is proving to be more work than it sounds. I think he is setting his sights a little high as he makes it sound like a boot camp of learning. He said it has failed twice but this time it will succeed (he throws his fists into the air when he says this). I am surprised i haven’t been given a rank yet. He uses language like “lets mobilise the students” and he says “VERY SERIOUS” all the time. It is not out of the norm for him to preach to me for two hours about his dreams and stuff, the kids just stand there sigh, he likes that though as its shows how “VERY SERIOUS they are about this project”.

Now, time to complain. Its hot, and hot all year, not cold time at all. Its dusty out here, so dusty that when i wipe my chest which has been covered with a tucked in shirt all day my wipe comes away red/brown and no it isn’t a poo stain before you jump in.

The food is good and I’m doing well if not suffering from too much reality in one go, maybe it is the antimalarials I’m.

Right, so i’m 20 minutes from leaving for heathrow, still sat in my boxers chowing down some porridge. My bag is packed with about 8kg of donations (thanks to Jo, tescos and some of my mates). Apart from Jabs, donations and packing I have put very little thought into going to Ghana, logic being that what ever I think it is going to be like will be wrong. Isn’t quite going to be the same as my little trip into to the rainforest in 2005 as I’m not going to have project supervisors holding my hand through every little thing. Hopefully less mosquitoes and snakes though.

Anyway I have dollers, euros and THE GREAT BRITISH POUND so I’m covered for most things now. Flight is at 2.15 and I will update with some non kendo/packedtrain related bumph, as soon as possible. Oh it’s going to be hot, so expect more moaning about heat.